May 13 2009
Ronald McDonald Held by Pirates
According to the Associated Press, pirates off the coast of Somalia have hijacked a ship carrying Ronald McDonald and 40 tons of frozen “all-beef” patties.
McDonald is said to be in high spirits, according to the US Navy, who have been in contact with the pirates.
“We have information that Mr. McDonald is currently performing magic tricks for his captors,” said a representative from the Department of Defense.
A spokesman from the McDonald’s Corporation stated that they understand the US does not cooperate with kidnappers or terrorists, but expressed wariness over the progress being done to retrieve the company’s celebrity.
This news comes as a shock to the fast-food world, which is still recovering from the tragic overdose of Grimace on heroin and the arrest of the Hamburgler for sodomy of a cow.
