May 12 2009
NFL to End War in Iraq
In a surprise announcement by the NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that he would personally oversee the ending of the war in Iraq by utilizing the combined might of the National Football League.
“After much thinking, I’ve determined that the NFL is in the best position to bring the insurgency to an end, win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people and rebuild the country as a whole,” he said at today’s press conference at Giant Stadium.
According to the press release, the new rookie draft picks will lead the way with an elite assemblage of veteran players. Platoons and brigades will be established based on teams and divisions.
In a surprise move by Goodell, he stated that the Detroit Lions and Houston Texans will be left behind to ensure the homeland is protected.
